Failure

Failure.. it just taste so damn bad.
Imagine that you have put in all your effort, give it your all, doing things you have never done before.. and in the end, you failed..
Yeah,, i happen to turn out being a failure..
Call it bad luck, call it one of those times.. call it whatever bad things that you want..
A failure is a failure..
You can never change the fact..
It just happened so suddenly, so fast..

I have been studying the Operational Risks from the very first day the lesson starts.
I stayed back after the lessons just to revise on my own. I know it's hard, people just said so.
That's why i did something I've never done before. I decided to put in a lot of efforts.
I got some encouragement from the lecturer. She showed me something that i would never have imagine. She told me her past experience about completing her ACCA course.
She actually locked herself for quite some time, sacrifice her social life, her boyfriend.
I admire her. Comparing to her, my little staying back to revise seems like nothing.
I worked hard, trying to memorize the important stuff.
Late at night before my exam, i burnt midnight oil, i study till 3 in the morning, leaving me only a couple of hours before i go for the exam.
It's weird, but somehow, i know that i am not ready, and i know that i will fail. though i told myself that if i give it my best shot, i will make it, i will pass.
During the examination itself, i never would have expected that the questions are so easy, so easy that i neglected those stuff. I thought that it will not come out at the exam, but it did.
Then i submitted my work, and i was announced marginal fail.
Urgh.. i failed. i felt empty, blank..
I failed my family, failed my friends, failed myself..

I called my family, and they were shocked. They didn't say anything, but i know, somehow, they're sad. I went back to hometown, spending the break breaking myself, keeping myself occupied with basketball, foods.

Friends tried to console me, that's what friends will do. I appreciate that, but if i told them that i am fine then i am a big liar. Who would not be sad when one faces failure ? I told them i need time and so i am back, starting from zero again.

Failure, as much as it hurts, it actually make people stronger, realizing and reminiscing the mistakes, change and break the limit, challenge it all over again, never giving up.

And now, i am back.. the next one will be a bigger challenge, i dunno if i can pass it but i will break my limit, give it my best shot. If i were to fail again, then i have to try again.

Never give up.
Failure is never the end, Giving up is where it ends.