Sin

It's been three years since that day..
That sinful day, my biggest mistake, my nightmare..
5 life, almost gone just like that,
Still 'member it like it was yesterday..
It still haunts me whenever November is coming..
Even when my birth certificate date is on November, simply couldn't get myself to celebrate it.

The worry I brought to my family n friends..
The shame I brought to myself..
I need a better word..

There's just no words to describe them..

Forgiveness, I just don't deserve it, even when I was given the chance to live for a second time..
The guilt, the sorrow, the pain..
It just won't fade..
It'll remain, forever..
Deep down in my heart..

All I can do, is to live.. To reminisce it, let it be my fuel to fight.. To repay my friends deeds, and most importantly, my family..

God.. from the bottom of my heart, with sincerity, I pray..
Bless the family with happiness, protect them from all harms..

Sincerely,
Sinful.man..

Fateful Encounter

It was midnight, when it all begun;
I was grabbing some drinks in a local bar, alone, broken.
I was sipping the last drop of the liquor, and surprisingly I haven't lost my consciousness which I should.
Everything just seems empty, I was surrounded by lotsa folks drinking, flirting and most importantly having fun. Nothing seems to really catch my attention until it happened.

'Hey, sweetie, come here and have fun with us. You will have a great great time.' said a half-conscious punk. He was 6 feet tall, with muscular body covered with tattoos of skull-like along his strong arms. He had a piercings along both of his ears, and face. He grabbed the girl's hand and won't let go. In that table, sat two of the punk's friends. One is big, fat, black and seems strong like a bear; While the other is skinny, still muscular though, with a scar in his face. The scar that can only be made with a sharp objects. It seems that the girl is in trouble, and no one, not even a soul in that bar, attend to the matter. The girl is indeed a chick with body that is so perfect, so perfect that it occurs to me that such body can only be seen in TV shows. Without a second thought, I deduct that she is a model or something.

The girl was struggling to escape from the grip of that punk. As she was struggling, a man, finally, I saw a kind souls, a gents, got into the conversation and not more than a second, the intensity can be felt in the whole bar. The man was pushed back and punched by that punk. The other two guys join in the bully. As they are busy dealing with the man, the girl come to my seats. The punks saw it and confronted me. ''suupp, dude, who dya think you are, stealing my girl away?' I was speechless, I barely know that girl. 'Err, no, no, no. . .' As I was trying to come up with something,the girl responded 'He is my man.'

What? I am her man?
What on earth is she talking about?
Who the hell is she?
Why would she say that?
I was caught in a confusion, I barely know that girl, and now, I am the one who is caught up in this mess. Oh, god, what should I do? I'm gonna end up like the man, beaten up, broken. What a luck!!

A New Beginning

Hola,
It's been ages eh?
Been busy with lotsa stuff, school, additional exam.. or should I say, I'm too down to write..

Life's been good..
Finally found those guys and girls that makes my day, all the time..
One word to describe it 'Awesome'
It never crossed my mind that my life here can be this cool and fun..
Guess I am really lucky to know them..

I guess it's over.. the fever, the numbness, the dark days are finally over, though, I dare not say that it is gone entirely. All I can say is I'm done with it.. It's time to start afresh, to a new chapter..

Been thinking to change my blog to some short stories.. For someone who is not really good with words, that may seems too much.. But, I'll give it a try.. After all, it won't kill me.. Hope everyone can support me.. :)

Stay tuned..

Sincerely,
Broken man.

Death

Friday, 17 June '11, 12:17,
He was declared 'dead'..
Part of him died out in despair..

He ,who believes in fantasy,
He, who believes in happily ever after..
He, who believes that true love still exists..

He was found dead in a dark room with nothing but darkness..
Not even a single ray of light..
It's filled with blankness..

It's not the end though,
It's the beginning..
As one story ended, another story began..

It's a new age..
Where new story will be told..

Lost

Alright, i admit it.. i'm lost..

I dunno what to do.. what to expect.. what to believe in..
I guess winter comes again eh? and right now it feels so empty, so blank and so dark..
It was so good in the summer when i thought that i would finally have my fantasy.. Because this time.. it seems so real.. so close.. so true..
Funny how i felt that way..

It was one hell of a ride i guess..
and now.. memories, are all that i have..

Luckily, i have great friends,, being with me, bear with me, listen to me, and talk to me.. thank you.. from the deepest of my heart..

Interestingly, there is this one guy, he told me that i have one last coin.. one more chance.. and how will i spend it? what's it gonna be? honestly.. i dunno, i'm lost~

Well, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.. perhaps..
For sure, it didn't kill me.. and the way i see it, i have grown.. a better man..
It's just that i still couldn't find the me in me..

This chapter's done and the story must still goes on..

It was only just a dream

It was at that moment that i felt emptiness.. it's been quite some time since the last, and it feels as though i'm now quite used to that feeling now.. perhaps, it ain't that hurt.. though it feels kinda different.. Everything seems so real, so close that I was finally convinced that the time is now, I've found it.. and it happens just like that, we were so good together, it seems as though we are meant to be.. but it turned out that she is still holding on to someone.. Somehow i respect that, i understand it.. But the one thing that i cannot accept is to leave, if fate has brought us together, it must have been for something.. It happens that what i have is too much, too deep and too strong to let go.. I refuse to leave, after all that we've been through.. How can u ask me to leave just like that?

If everything is just a dream, I hope fate has never even brought you and me together.. I hope I've never attracted to you.. I hope you'd not have given me everything.. But it's now too late for that, I've come too deep into you.. If time is what you need, if holding on to him is what you want and if his love is all you know.. I'll respect that.. But don't you go around and told me to leave, ignore me just because you feel bad.. Don't you feel even bad when you do all that? I guess once in a while, we've gotta really sit down, calm ourselves and feel for ourselves with whom our heart beats harder.. If it's meant to be, it will be..

If it's meant to be, it will be..

Love, Who's never been in love? Everyone is searching out there to find that so-called 'happily ever after..' The question is 'Does it even exists?' It might exists, but how many people in this world manage to find that 'happily ever after'?? Do happily ever after occurs only when a prince meet a princess? How many of us out there is that so-called honorable, brave, and whatsoever fairytale prince? And how many of the girls out there is considered to be that perfect beauty, kind-hearted and whatsoever princess? Hmm, I wonder..

So, what exactly is love? And what is like? Do love and like differ? If it differs, in what way then? Love, such an easy words yet its meaning remain such a mystery..
Here's some saying that i find quite cool and interesting..

I kinda agree with that, what's meant to be and what's not meant to be.. Who knows?
But trust me.. What's your will be your, and what's not, no matter how u try to get it, it'll still not be yours.. And love is just like that..
Some of my friends discussed with me regarding love, and here's what i conclude from what we had to say..
"Love starts from like.. when you like that other person, affections and all sorts of human feeling will emerge.. through which you will try to make the other party feels how you feels toward them.. When mutual like occurs, that's when love is build.. that's when love happens.."

Who needs love then? The answer of course and without a doubt is that everyone needs love.. Who the hell in this world wants to be alone forever? Being alone is not a fun thing and it's perhaps the saddest things.. The isolation, the feeling of solitude.. It just ain't right.. All of us needs company, yes.. And that's what friends is all about.. Though, sadly to say.. How much company can a friend really give, anyway?? They've got what they need to do.. When you need company, not many friends are ready and available.. It's not that they're selfish or whatsoever but that's just the limitation..

Every fairytale begins with 'Once upon a time. . .' and eventually ends with '. . .and they live happily ever after.' And in reality 'Happily ever after is just so once upon a time' agree?? That's just how it is.. Even people who is in love, who's in a relationship or people who's married might not reached that happily ever after.. This is my story, my tale and my legend.. I've been in love a couple of time but i guess it's not a happily ever after after all.. And sadly, it's one sided.. though it should be give and take.. Moving on and now still in search of that happily ever after and that so-called princess.. My princess.. She doesn't need to be a princess.. cause i'm not a prince.. ^^ She just need to be herself.. My other half.. and i hope that at the end of my tale.. '. . .and they lived happily ever after.' will be written on it.


P.S. Let's strive for our happily ever after, my friends.. And for me, i think i've found that girl~ i just hope that this time round, it'll not be a one-sided game again.. And i really~~ hope that she would give me a slightest signal of what she's gotta say 'bout it.. I need that chance.. As for all my friends out there who has been hurt and has given up on love, please, get right back up.. We all need love.. Perhaps that's not meant to be.. What's meant to be is up ahead.. After all, what's meant to be will always find its way..